So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
