I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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