but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
