nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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