have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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