I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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