Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
