there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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