We're facebook friends in real life
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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