My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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