She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
