I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
