i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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