Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
