direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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