I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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