I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Randomize
