So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
