you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
