I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
There r osticjed everywhere
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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