my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
