i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
