Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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