one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
