I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
