I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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