Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My first STD was from a foam party
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
