she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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