i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
