therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
