"it" just moved
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
