She said her name was "party"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
