can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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