I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
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just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
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so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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