You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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