It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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