I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
