would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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