even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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