This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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