remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
