two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
