She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
