My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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