We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
