Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize