If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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