Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
