Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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