Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
