I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
