The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
