After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
