Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
