i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
