he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Is it penis luge time yet?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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