i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
